On a bus, heading for Cedar City
with the Kearns High School Cross Country Team.
There are only about 21 athletes, Coach Flanagan, and me, the single
parent “chaperone”. Doesn’t look like
this group of kids really needed a parent chaperone, but I’m excited to get
away from work for a day and support my kids and their team.
After having spent some time
chatting with coach Flanagan, I’m super happy my boys chose Cross Country as
their extra-curricular activity. He’s a
great guy, and someone who has a positive influence on the kids he
mentors. I realize that it’s not so much
the sport, maybe, but the coach. It’s
kind of like college, when you find a good professor and you take all the
classes he teaches (George Durrant at BYU).
Or when you find a good author and you read all his books (Terry Brooks
or Terry Pratchett). It’s nice to run
races, stay in shape, and compete on the cross country team; but what is more
important are the relationships the athletes have with their peers and their
coaches.
Do I believe that? From a parent’s perspective, I do. But looking back on my days as a HS athlete,
I’m not sure I agree completely. It was
about the competition, and the thrill of the sport. Were all my coaches great role models. Not exactly. None of my coaches were poor role models,
but I didn’t want to be like them, necessarily.
But that’s not what it takes to be a good mentor, actually. My boys probably don’t want to be like
Flanagan, but they like him, respect him.
In talking with him, it was
evident that his coaching is driven by certain principles that he is trying to
teach the athletes. Cross country is
important, but only as a means to an end.
I’ve seen a number of coaches in
youth sports that are too big for their britches. I’ll never forget a scene I witnessed during
my internship at Orem HS. A basketball
coach was in a sophomore girl’s face (literally two feet from her—and he was
just about her height, too—can you say “Napoleon Complex?) Anyway, he was yelling at her, spittle coming
out of his mouth. This wasn’t during a
game; it was something about coming late to a practice or missing
something. She was terrified. I wish I was man enough at that time to
intervene. I can get yelling as a
coach. My coaches yelled a lot, and it
was helpful, instructive, and motivating.
But I can’t get a grown man yelling at a 15 year-old girl to the point
she is terrified. Maybe it’s a gender
thing, would I be okay with it if he were yelling at a boy athlete? I don’t know.
Anyway, it is unfortunate that some people who are pretty clueless about
life and relationships end up as youth coaches.
Thankfully, Coach Flanagan isn’t one of those. I am grateful for that, and for all the
adults in my kids’ lives who have a positive impact on them.
Time passes.
Cross country is cool. There were boys who came in almost last,
jumping up and screaming because they had beat their personal best times. It is such a pure sport—I would venture to
guess it is probably the first sport every developed (or the second, after
wrestling). There is something neat
about racing the course, the other athletes, and the clock. My Dad ran cross country in high school. He never pushed me to run (never pushed me to
do anything). In hindsight, I kind of
wish I would have run cross country. It
would be a nostalgic thing to have done—compete in a sport that he loved. Having my sons compete feels good
though. I am quite the sentimental. I like to think that he is watching from
wherever he is, please with the efforts of his grandkids.
This wasn’t going to be about my
dad.
I just think it’s a cool sport,
with great positive feelings that make up the atmosphere. Tons of cheering for every runner. No booing, no yelling at refs. I think I’ll go to more events.
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